Regrets Won't Change a Thing
by PoodleCharlie
Summary: Debbie finds herself in a predicament and goes to Miss Parker seeking advice, which leads Parker to reminisce about a memory of her and Jarod.


**Before You Read:** This story takes place in the future and is a conversation that occurs between Debbie, who has become a miniature Miss Parker after The Centre murdered her father, and Miss Parker, who has taken the fatherless Debbie under her wing in an attempt to save her from the same fate which she has suffered.

_**

* * *

Present**_

The pair walked down the road for a while before either of them spoke; to be sure no one was listening. Debbie was the first to speak, "Miss Parker, I just don't know if I can keep this baby. The Centre- they-" to be honest, she didn't know what they would do, she couldn't even allow her mind to go there.

Miss Parker looped her arm though Debbie's and announced, "There's something I want to share with you."

Debbie looked up at her mentor skeptically, she knew Miss Parker wasn't the sharing type and, honestly, didn't know what to expect. "Okay" she answered cautiously.

Miss Parker swallowed hard, she hated to walk down memory lane with anyone, especially hers, but she was afraid this was the only way to really get across her point. She just couldn't stand by and watch Debbie make the same stupid mistake that she had made so many years ago. And so she began, "I was just a little older than you are right now when I found myself in a similar situation…"

* * *

**_20 years earlier_**

"Thank you" she mumbled as she handed the cab driver some cash.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright ma'am?" the driver asked, concern written on his face.

"Mmm-hmm" she replied, attempting to fake a smile, but it didn't come. She closed the door to the cab and wrapped her coat around her a little tighter, as the night had suddenly grown extremely cold, and began the long trek across her lawn, not bothering to use the walkway.

She finally reached the doorway after what seemed like an eternity. She unlocked the door and walked inside, closing the door behind her by leaning her back against it. She breathed out heavily, closed her eyes and let the tears she'd been resisting flow freely. Feeling her knees go weak underneath her she let her back slide down the door, and she cried, hard. Harder than she'd ever cried before because she had never felt so truly empty, as empty as she did now.

Just then, he walked in, he'd been waiting for her for hours now, as he did most days. When he saw her he didn't even ask why she was crying, he just pulled her into an embrace, he could see the pain written on her face and he just wanted her to stop hurting.

She wanted to resist, she wanted to tell him what she had just done, but she couldn't, and it just made her cry harder, so she let him hold her. How long they sat there, she'd never know, but she was glad he was there.

After some time passed, she sat up and looked at him with tears still streaming down her face. "I just…I'm so…I didn't think…" she wracked between sobs. She couldn't tell him, she didn't know how.

"Hey, it doesn't matter." He tried to assure her that what ever she had done, he would forgive her for. She looked down as shook her head. It _did_ matter, and she _had_ to tell him. He took her hands in his, giving her more strength than he knew. She took in a sharp breath and swallowed hard before she looked up at him once more. He noticed that her once brilliantly blue eyes were now a hazy blue-gray as she began.

"I'd been feeling off for a little over a week when I started to suspect that it wasn't my ulcer." she stated trembling, "I took six tests Jarod, and everyone of the them confirmed it." She lowered her head and more tears came.

"Wait, what?" he asked, when suddenly it hit him. "You're pregnant?" he more stated than asked as he tried to make eye contact with her.

She couldn't look at him, she was so ashamed. "No, not anymore." she whispered.

His grip on her hands loosened and he slowly pulled away. "You- you didn't-" he stammered. He opened his mouth to start again, but quickly closed it. He couldn't finish his sentence, he didn't need to, she knew exactly what he was asking.

"I was so scared, I - I didn't know what to do." She stammered.

He looked up, the pain in his eyes apparent. "You could have told me." he stated almost inaudibly, "I would have helped you. We could have figured something out."

She knew that he would have and it just made the hole inside her seem even more vast. "Jarod," she pleaded, "If they had ever found out-" She couldn't finish, but they both knew what The Centre was capable of.

"We could have worked something out." He stated for a second time, although, more firmly this time. He looked so hurt, and it was killing her. She wished she could take it all back, she now knew how very wrong her decision had been.

She reached out for his hands and he immediately pulled them away, with pain flashing in his eyes once more. He stood up and took a step backwards. "I just need some time." he announced as he started to step by her and pulled the front door open.

She just sat there, stunned. She wanted desperately for him to stay, she needed him, but she didn't say anything. She didn't even attempt to move a muscle; she just sat there and let him leave.

"I just need some time to think." he declared, as he stepped through the doorway. "To think" he clarified, although not really clarifying anything. He closed the door behind him and started down the walkway. He hadn't meant to react the way he had. He was shocked, hurt, a little angry, but he never wanted her to question whether or not he would return, although he knew she would. He loved her, he would always return to her, but right now, he couldn't stay with her. Right now he needed to process all the information he had just received.

She still sat on the floor in her foyer, still crying. She knew she had never cried so much in her entire life. Crying was not part of who she was. Never had she felt so weak, she had always been strong, but not now, now she had hastily given up every chance she'd ever had for happiness and it was unbearable.

Jarod continued to walk, in a daze. He was so stunned he hadn't thought to be looking for sweepers. He was too stunned to notice the sweeper that came up behind him.

The sweeper hit him over the head, knocking him unconscious, and shoved him in a car.

* * *

**_Present _**

"… And that night was the last time I saw him." Miss Parker explained to Debbie. "He died about two weeks later, trying to escape from the center."

"Miss Parker? Do you ever wonder what could have been?" Debbie asked timidly. "If you had kept the baby, I mean."

At first Miss Parker instinctively brushed off the question, "To wonder 'What if' is simply a waste of time." Then she paused for a moment. _No, that isn't the truth,_ Miss Parker thought. Debbie could see the conflict in her eyes before she spoke. "I wonder everyday." she answered truthfully, "My son would have been 20 this year." Miss Parker said, just audibly.

"Miss Parker, I - I'm so sorry-" Debbie stammered.

Miss Parker waved her hand through the air, "It's not your fault." The two women stopped walking and turned to face each other. "I was so afraid to loose anything else that I gave up everything before it even had the chance to be taken away." Miss Parker admitted for the first time aloud.

Debbie witnessed one lone tear stray down Miss Parker's cheek. That solitary tear was the saddest thing Debbie had ever seen. She had never seen Miss Parker cry before, and to her that single tear was equivalent to Miss Parker breaking down right there before her.

Miss Parker wiped her face. "Anyway," she continued, with a sad smile, "that was a long time ago. I just wanted to tell you because I thought that maybe if someone had shared their experience with me, and the heartache that comes with it, before I made my choice, I may have made a different one."

Debbie felt the sudden urge to hug Miss Parker. A little bit to Debbie's surprise Miss Parker returned the embrace. "Thank you." Debbie whispered into her ear. The words seemed so inadequate for the gratitude she felt for this woman at the moment, but they would have to do.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so I just reread this story and it's even worse than I remember it being, however, it is my first fanfic so I would apprectiate any constructive critisicm that you may have. Lemme know what you think:) 


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